Give The Lower-Middle Class Some Dignity

1. If you get married you will be moved up into a new tax bracket and forced to pay taxes to a government who is already taking more than their fair share. You won’t get any “real” tax credits.
2. It cost me $50 (Non-refundable) to get a key from the U.S. Post Office for the mailbox out in front of my apartment and was told by the employee, “This is real life sweetheart.”
3. My ex-husband bought a house for “us” except he couldn’t put my name on the title because of bad credit that I had and I had to sign off my “rights and responsibilities” to that house. So basically, I would’ve been paying for a home and gaining no equity of my own.
4. This one is bullshit.
5. Good luck getting on the Section 8 waiting list. I’ve been on it since 2014 and have yet to even get a phone call back from them. So I pay market value ($650) for my 2 bedroom, 1 bath upstairs apartment.
6. My job offered me health insurance for me and my two kids because their dad works under the table in Oregon so that he doesn’t have to pay child support. $338 a month for insurance or $650 a month for rent. Which one will benefit my kids more? Rent! So yes, my kids and I are on Obamacare.
7. I’d do anything to go to college for free. I’d learn basket weaving or braiding hair if could. But I have two mouths to feed and a roof to pay for and gas to buy. So I have a full-time job that I’ve been at for 9-1/2 years paying me $13 an hour.
8. $600 a month in food stamps? Are you kidding me? Try $89 a month. Sure, I could quit my job and get more, but does that sound logical? No! But I do stand in line and watch the women in their Miss Me jeans and freshly painted nails and hair extensions paying for their groceries with food stamps and load their groceries into their Lexus with custom rims and tinted windows.
9. I’ve heard of this “Free Cell” phone thing, yet I don’t know any of my friends or family who has them. What state are they giving them out in? Because I live in California and have yet to see one.
10. Free utilities? Are you kidding me? With everyone putting solar panels on their homes and taking money from the power company (Kudos for sticking it to the man) they’ve decided to up their rates to re-coop the money. So my power bill went from $120 a month to $243 with no notice. Let me know where I can sign up to receive this “free utility”.
11. Kids need positive male role models in their lives instead of dead beat dads running to other states to escape from paying for their part of a responsibility.
12. When you’re child turns 16, you can claim them, but you will not get Earned Income Credit for them. I deserve to claim my children, I pay for them. But let’s talk about the men who live with women who have kids from a previous relationship for a second. That man is there when those children need a hug, or when they need a strong firm voice to back them up, or when their mom’s pay check is shorter than expected and their school clothes need to be bought, or when food runs low and their bellies are aching. These men step up to the plate, pay for what needs to be paid for; with no monetary compensation in return. Sure they get the hugs and kisses and get to watch the smiles on the kids’ faces and watch the tender soft tears of their mother smiling through.
13. I’ve had a bad back since I first started developing breasts. I don’t have disability for it. I had no idea that was even a thing. If you talked to my ex, I’m sure he’d agree that I’m “crazy” but then again, he’d have to be present in order to ask him.

With that I say to you, yes, there are people out there working the system and getting the perks of it; but there are people out there, caught in the middle of, not-poor-enough to get aide and not-rich-enough to pay their own way. We make do with what we got, we appreciate the help we do get and we cherish every day because one little slip up is the life or death of what we’re working so hard to accomplish and that’s just to make it to tomorrow above water.

The Truth You Don’t Want To Admit

You smile, but I see the lie hiding behind your Cheshire grin.
You speak with conviction as though you’re innocent, but I can feel the truth in my bones.
I watch you hug them, but it’s just a taste of what I get from them all the time.
I watch you cry in front of them, but I know it’s your guilt that makes them roll down your cheek.
You make promises, but they see you breaking them.
You say I love you, and that’s the only thing they believe any more; unfortunately it’s just not enough.
I show them what security feels like and they understand how important it is.
I give them confidence in making good decisions, you teach them what bad decisions look like.
You let your actions speak louder than your empty words.
You get to watch them grow-up and out of the Brown name.
I will lead them to the path of righteousness and into the light of hope and potential.
I have what they need and what they want, while you’re living your life else where.
You will have to live with the regret and the guilt, when you see the look of disappointment in their eyes.
You have only DNA and a last name attached to them in my eyes.
You don’t hold any more control over them or me!
I call the shots, and they have always been in their best interest.
I will watch you drive away again, and I will continue to pick up the pieces you leave behind.
They listen to the excuses you give them, but they feel the hurt in their heart.
They will realize that your intentions are always a short coming for you.
They’re old enough now that they understand and pity the life you lead, without them.

My Hall of Fame

You’re already my champions.
No matter what happens, WE LOVE YOU & WE GOT CHA!

(Listen to this while reading)

The Script- Hall Of Fame
Yeah, you can be the greatest
You can be the best
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest

You can beat the world
You can beat the war
You can talk to God, go banging on his door

You can throw your hands up
You can beat the clock (yeah)
You can move a mountain
You can break rocks
You can be a master
Don’t wait for luck
Dedicate yourself and you gon’ find yourself

Standing in the hall of fame (yeah)
And the world’s gonna know your name (yeah)
‘Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah)
And the world’s gonna know your name (yeah)
And you’ll be on the walls of the hall of fame

You can go the distance
You can run the mile
You can walk straight through hell with a smile

You can be the hero
You can get the gold
Breaking all the records they thought never could be broke

Yeah, do it for your people
Do it for your pride
How are you ever gonna know if you never even try?

Do it for your country
Do it for your name
‘Cause there’s gonna be a day…

When you’re standing in the hall of fame (yeah)
And the world’s gonna know your name (yeah)
‘Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah)
And the world’s gonna know your name (yeah)
And you’ll be on the walls of the hall of fame

Be a champion, be a champion, be a champion, be a champion
On the walls of the hall of fame

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers
(Yeah)

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions
Be truth seekers

Be students
Be teachers
Be politicians
Be preachers

Be believers
Be leaders
Be astronauts
Be champions

Standing in the hall of fame (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And the world’s gonna know your name (yeah, yeah, yeah)
‘Cause you burn with the brightest flame (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And the world’s gonna know your name (yeah, yeah, yeah)
And you’ll be on the walls of the hall of fame

(Be a champion)
You could be the greatest
(Be a champion)
You can be the best
(Be a champion)
You can be the King Kong banging on your chest

(Be a champion)
You could beat the world
(Be a champion)
You could beat the war
(Be a champion)
You could talk to God, go banging on his door

(Be a champion)
You can throw your hands up
(Be a champion)
You can beat the clock (yeah)
(Be a champion)
You can move a mountain
(Be a champion)
You can break rocks

(Be a champion)
You can be a master
(Be a champion)
Don’t wait for luck
(Be a champion)
Dedicate yourself and you gonna find yourself
(Be a champion)

Standing in the hall of fame

No body puts Aubry in the corner

I’ve spent many years, ok well, 6 years to be exact. Raising my daughter to never take no for an answer, pursue your dreams, and try to do as much as you can on your own and never be afraid to ask for help. Seems about right….right? Well not as of recently. I’m continually being called by school office personnel, assistants, and other adults surrounding my daughter, because she can’t seem to control her stubbornness and inability to give a crap about what adults tell her to do. How dare you speak to the princess like that! Are you talking to me like that? Oh no she didn’t.

Marching to the beat of her own drum and deciding when and where she wants to sit and learn, she seems to think it’s up to her. I don’t remember telling her she didn’t have to listen to her teachers. I don’t remember telling her she can just take other people’s belongings. And I certainly don’t remember allowing her to treat other’s rudely.

I love her with all my heart and I’m so proud of everything she does, even when it’s burping louder then most people. (She gets it from me) But I don’t want her kicked out of kindergarten because she kicked another student. I don’t want her kicked out of her after-school program because she stole their office keys. I need to rein in her Girl Power and start pulling some of her magic dust back in.

Maybe I gave her too much to start with. Now I need to start teaching her to use it sparingly. Like most kids her age it should have been apparent when I seen her use of glitter in art class. I could spot her project from the parking lot. Less is more, was never an option for my Aubry. But this is a time now where I need to show her patients, relaxation, and understanding.

You can be a fighter and you can be strong, but if you don’t know when to choose your battles or when excessive force is not ok, then it’s not going to be a tool for her, it’s going to be her kryptonite.

::::UPDATE::::While she was sitting in time out she stole my lotion, cell phone charger and a package of batteries from the table sitting to the left of her in the above picture…Lord have mercy.

Playing S.E.R.R.F

After a long hard days work, I travel 35 miles to my hometown of Red Bluff California. Before heading home I have to stop by my children’s school and pick them up from their after school program called S.E.R.R.F. Pronounced as, Surf.

Immediately as you walk in, you’re greeted by loud children talking and a bustle of adults and older teenagers participating with them in various activities. Every thing from painting and coloring to singing and dancing on the Wii. I’ve grown comfortable with this group of adults watching over my children. They know me by my ever present and loud children, as my daughter often dominates all the other children and her budding fashion sense has them captivated by her charm and beauty, and the fact that she is constantly whining about not getting her way.

Signing the children in and out in the many binders placed on the all to short tables. (the lunch room tables that fold into the surrounding walls…remember?) The SERRF adult sitting at these tables, calls over the 2-way radio for the children by name, belonging to whatever parent is standing in front of her. These SERRF adults are often wearing lanyards with keys attached to them, for the numerous rooms and lockers that they may need to get into. After a short conversation, my children come running to me, back packs in hand. With a hug and a kiss, we set off to our car parked in the busy parking lot.

This weekend I walked in on my daughter sitting at her computer desk in her princess room decorated in all-thing’s-girlie and pink. Placed strategically in front of her on the carpet are her many lovies, a.k.a. stuffed animals. She reaches for her Disney princess walkie-talkie motions to me to wait a minute with her dainty finger and calls out, “We need Leo the Lemur. Your mom’s here to pick you up. She stands up, walks over to her bunk bed and hands me a clipboard. It’s then that I notice she has a lanyard around her neck with a bunch of foreign keys.

(Now for about a week she has bugged me every day to give her my car keys so she can have them. I declined and had to explain to her why I couldn’t part with them but promised I’d find her some old keys she could keep. Unfortunately I never came through on this promise as I later realized I never held on to useless keys like my dad use too.)

I immediately stopped in my tracks and gave her the mommy-eye asking her, “Aubry. Where did you get those keys?”.

She quickly shot back, “From the prize box at school. I didn’t get in trouble and Mrs. Bliss let me pick them out.”

Against my better judgment I didn’t want to rain on her parade and take her prize away. I knew she had been working really hard at not talking so much in class. Being even more curious as to what she was doing, even though I could tell–secretly I just wanted to hear her say it. “What are you playing Aubry?” I asked.

“I’m playing surf.” She said as if the mere question was ridiculously obvious. She gave that away in the roll of her eyes as she turned back around to resume her play, uninterrupted this time.

Let’s jump now to Monday evening, me standing in front of the short tables starring at the huge green chalk board. Scrawled  across in yellow chalk it read; MISSING 3 ROOM KEYS IF FOUND PLEASE RETURN. (see picture above) Immediately in that moment I knew who was to blame, my sweet and innocent, all too grown-up acting, diva daughter, Aubry. I had brought them the news they were searching.

I approached the director and informed them of my findings this weekend as I walked into my daughters room. After the hysterical laughter, they were relieved. As the director was in huge trouble. The school was about to set out on a costly mission of re-keying every door to the school after not being able to lock the doors or set the alarms this last weekend.

I safely returned the keys to the director the next day and expressed my deepest apologies that I could. I asked the director how Aubry had gotten a hold of the keys. She told me, “Aubry got in trouble for not listening and was placed in time out in the directors office, where the keys were hung up on the wall.”

It’s sad to say, but Aubry is probably going to fall in to my footsteps and this post will more then likely be placed in the now, appropriately named, “Classic Aubry” category.