A friend of mine just gave birth, all natural, to a bouncing baby boy of 10 pounds with her loving husband and midwife near by. She has shared pictures through-out her pregnancy with friends and family on Facebook. I’ve looked over the pictures and often thought of my pregnancies and how I felt about each of the impending births.
But it was this morning on my rainy windy drive to work alone in my mini-van that I realized how silent my drive was. I could hear the wind smashing the rain drops on my windows and I could smell my air freshener. I didn’t hear any tattle-telling, arguing or smell any McDonald Happy Meals or farts.
It didn’t start that way, it was chaotic getting the kids out of bed, convincing Aubry that the second outfit of the morning was fine for school, managing to dry my hair, make coffee and wear matching shoe’s was almost impossible.
But even then it didn’t start that way. I can remember with perfect clarity how soft the baby blankets felt, how cuddly my babies were, their ‘baby’ smell, how my arms were made especially to cradle them and I can remember their ‘hungry’ cries versus’ their ‘i’m-hurt’ cry.
The smell of dirty diapers, baby formula, the taste of green pea baby food flung at me and the never-ending sleepless nights. The constant worry if THIS bump to the head is going to be THE final pass or fail of Mommyhood.
We go through many changes as women, mommies, mom’s; whatever you want to call us. God starts us off with the basic’s, eat, sleep, poop. We master those tasks, then the levels progress, getting harder like a wicked game of Tetris. We make mistakes, we learn from them, and they grow healthier and stronger until all of a sudden…BAM! You’re mysteriously looking your son in the eyes at eye level, because some how he’s that tall already. Or your daughter is showing you a pair of shoe’s she liked on a website she surfed and thinks that my money would best be spent on them rather than buying gas.
How did we get to this part so fast? Did I forget something, did I teach them everything they need to know to get them this far? God I hope so.
It worries me so much, but I guess that’s a sign of Great Parenting…I think? We’ve had our bumps, bruises, scars and set-backs; even a few traumas along the way, but we’re still here fighting.
We have so many thing’s to teach our children in such a short amount of time and no book, website or class can teach us a guaranteed sure-fire way. Sure they could suggest but it comes down to us Mom’s…and dad’s who ultimately have the final say, the final lesson teaching, the final look back.
I’m proud of myself and everyone who has made a special place in my children’s lives. I’m confident they will be ok though I still worry…because I’m a mom.
I will miss seeing the cute smiles on my babies faces as they sleep, their cute little diapered butts and how they attacked the world to learn everything they know…this far.
I won’t miss the sicknesses they brought home and shared, the vomit and other body fluids that seemed to be shared as well because it seems to be apart of the “mom” job, and I certainly won’t miss chasing down running toddler’s, Lord know’s my lung are still healing from that boot camp.
Instead I will relish in the secretly whispered, “I love you mom”, the “don’t turn off the hall light yet”, and “You’re the best mom ever” home-made Mother’s Day cards.
And I’ll look forward to more punishment chores, (cause let’s face it God gave us weeds to teach our kids lessons), prom’s, and the graduations where our children will look out into the crowd to find our smiling faces and mouth to us, “Thank You.”
So to all of you Moms AND Dad’s, Good Luck & Great Job!