What’s Love Got To Do With It?

There are a few emotions that we go through in life that don’t leave us in confusion. We understand them 100% when we’re in those moments. Anger, Sadness, Happiness, excitement; just to name a few are all crystal clear.

Well today I’d like to share an emotion that confuses a lot of people, leaving other’s dumbfounded and sometimes even making people fearful. LOVE. I’ve been asked in the past, “how do you know when she’s/he’s the one?” or “is this love?”

I know for me, when I was a little girl, I’d watch my Grandma and Grandpa and I could feel the love between them. It was undeniable. Their love radiated out and touched everyone that witnessed them interacting with each other. The simple look Grandpa gave her when she handed him his dinner. The kindness of a chaste kiss stolen when their grandkids weren’t looking but some how seen in the reflection of the glass cabinet doors. This form of Love was a piece of the American pie.

Being that same little girl, I use to dream of the day that my Prince Charming would come rescue me from my daily chores and nagging parents. He would tell me that I was the best at cleaning my room and that he loved how I dressed my Barbie’s. He’d then whisk me away to some magical land where there were no stickers in the grass and rainy day’s were never seen. Rainbows were in the sky every day and we’d eat P.B. & J every night for dinner. We’d trace shapes in the stars at night while listening to the crickets and frogs playing their nightly music. This kind of Love is what shaped my dreams and expectations.

There are others kinds of Love too. The first time, I was given my very own pet. Blue, was his name. He was a Siamese. Ok, so he wasn’t initially given to me, he was for my mom, but Blue loved Me. He slept with me at night above my head on my pillow keeping the nightmares away and the monsters stayed under the bed.  He would play with my pencil during homework time after school. He visited his cat friends at night but for the most part, his purring was just for me. I knew that his forehead bumps were his secrete code for, “I love you.” He made my heart content.

 When you spend nine months, (even though technically its ten months), carrying around a tiny human in your body you get to feel like the smartest person on the planet because you’re doing something miraculous. Every decision you make directly or indirectly affects this tiny life, and in those moment you start making those decisions more wisely. The first fluttering of baby movements, concretes the feeling of your heart soaring into outer space and back at lightening speed, in your mind for the rest of your life. Your head soars with happiness. Your body cradles this small part of you, allowing you to get to know him/her in a way that you’ll never know anyone else. When the nurse places this little bundle in your arms, tears roll down your cheek, kisses are planted on his/her small soft head, the feeling of his/her skin on your skin are the same temperature; your mind, body and soul are now tethered together for the rest of your life. Your life has meaning.

 So in answering the questions, for me, knowing when a certain person is the one, is all of these LOVES combined.

For me, it’s the look he gives me that speaks a thousand words. It’s the way his hand fits in mind like it was made just for me. It’s the feeling of his heart beat under my cheek and the warmth of his hands holding me close. It’s the way our children cradle into his arms effortlessly. It’s the way that he takes a deep breath when I’m frustrating him or how he listens to me rant, only to make a joke that sends me into a fit of giggles. It’s the text message sent at the perfect time, reassuring me that he loves me more. Its knowing that I only have to endure work for another 4 hours and 10 minutes until I get to see him. Its knowing that, even if I mess up, say the wrong thing, ask the wrong question, or choose the wrong thing, he’ll still love me as though I’ve never done anything wrong. It’s the way my thoughts calm down and start to get organized when he’s around.

Its knowing that for the rest of my life, he will be standing next to me, watching the world go round, our children growing up and growing out of the house. Its knowing that my porch swing will always be full. Its knowing that our grand children will get to relive our memories as if they were made for them. Its knowing that there is no one, I’d rather spend these moments with than him.

Apex?

Apex- the highest point, a pinnacle, climax, peak.

  I sit in my recliner, having enjoyed a freshly made omelette and the tangy taste of orange juice dancing on my tongue. It is then that I take the time to listen to the sounds around me. Sure, kids are frustrating and constantly whining, chores have to be done and my back is in a perpetual state of dull ache but it is then that I hear the words speaking to my heart.

“Live it, Love it, because you’ll miss it“

The smell of lavender fabric sheets is wafting down the hallway awakening my senses. The girls are in their most imaginative years as young ladies playing pretend with their Barbie’s on their make shift Barbie condo (cat condo). Kenny is mopping the kitchen and not on the Xbox. The kitten is monitoring the new cat fountain water bowl, Mama Sasha is waiting patiently at the back door to hang out with her old friends, Jessica and White Socks and Mr. Kat is lounging on the back of the couch in the morning sun. The clouds outside are huge cotton balls drifting past our humble home. Church had a beautiful message this morning. The wedding planning is in full swing and the weekend is almost over.

I couldn’t imagine life gets any better than this. I am so blessed to be able to take a moment out of my life to enjoy the pure beauty of my family and all that they bring to my life.

I don’t want to rush the children to grow up, I don’t want them to feel burdened with everyday adult pressures. I want to remember these day’s for all of my life because I know their day’s are numbered. There are so many thing’s in life that capture our attention and hold it ransom until we cut those strings and start living for us. Not Facebook. Not Twitter. We don’t answer that text or email the moment we get it.

Rafe and I will be married, so the wedding planning will be complete. The kitten will no longer be a spunky kitten but a lazy house cat. Kenny will graduate high school and the girls will be starting college. The finger prints on the windows will be  washed away and the smell of Play Dough will be but a distant memory.

So I ask you my beloved reader’s,Close your eyes, Listen to the sounds of your life, Let it fill your heart with pride, and Smile because the love you have and the love you feel is beautiful, let the one’s you love see it in you.

 

We’re Getting Married…

Rafe and I are Getting Married!!!

We’ve finally decided to jump into the marriage pool and push the “PLAY” button on our lives. Rafe and I are going to celebrate the uniting of our families with as little drama as we can possible avoid. We want our friends and families to enjoy our special day and have fun.

With that being said, I’ve jumped into the wedding planning with both feet. We’ve picked a date, July 28th, 2012. That only leaves 139 days, or 4 months 17 days, or 3,336 hours, or 200,150 minutes, or 12,009,600 seconds. But whose counting right? …ME! I’ve been waiting for almost 6 years to finally say, “I DO” to this wonderful man of mine.

So without further ado,the wedding details have arrived. I will update all of my beautiful reader’s on the latest happenings in our Wedding Arena. We want an informal wedding that is centered around a relaxed environment and a warm welcoming of friends and family. We’ve also decided on a potluck evening ceremony and reception. We’ve decided that our colors will be traditional, Black and White with a Yellow accent because the flower of my choice has been decided and its the Shasta Daisy.

Rafe has chosen my cousin Mike (Brother from another mother)  as his Best Man. Which just tickles me pink, because I was going to pick Mike as my Best Man. I have chosen my cousin Angelica (she’s like my child) as my Maid-Of-Honor. Angelica and I have talked about the day I get married and I’ve always naturally assumed she’d be in my wedding. I did how ever ask my sister to be my Maid-Of-Honor though she wouldn’t be able to make it due to time constraints and the fact that my sister and her new husband are in the process of trying to become parents. (Keeping my fingers crossed for them. =D

Aubry & Madison will be my flower girls/Bridesmaids and my son, Kenny will walk me down the aisle. My Great Uncle Rodger will marry Rafe and I.

You’d think with all of those decision’s already made, that we’d be half-finished with planning this shindig, but as I’m learning, that’s not even 1/2 way. We still have to pick a venue, what to bring to the wedding, register with stores or something like that and pick out flowers and decorations and invitations and get addresses and…yeah, it’s enough to make this BRIDE want to get married on a Wednesday while everyone’s at work, wearing jeans and a T-shirt walking down the aisle with a potted plant in a terra-cotta pot.

 But on a serious note, I can’t wait to look into his eyes, say “I do” and become his wife instead of, “The Girlfriend”, “The lady he lives with”, “Madison’s almost mom”.

If I could ask a favor from my reader’s, say a little prayer for me, we all know how accident prone I am, I DON’T WANT TO FALL WHILE WALKING DOWN THE AISLE, STANDING AT THE ALTER, OR WHILE DANCING WITH MY NEW HUSBAND.

 

Becoming The Cat Lady

   I want to introduce you to my cats. I’m sure you’ve seen them on here before, but I’d like to formally introduce you to them one by one.

SASHA

 This is Sasha our resident “special” cat. She fell into our family on 11/17/2006 and I mean quite literally, fell into our family. She was up a phone pole one evening and our two dogs, White Socks and Jessica were alerting us to the cat up the pole. Needless to say, this poor kitten wasn’t coming down on her own free will. Her choices were, climb higher and risk the electrical currents coursing through her body, or try to jump to her freedom, which would mean she could possibly land on either side of the fence. On one side, it was solid pavement, on the other, nice soft plush grass and two hugely fluffy dogs. What Sasha didn’t know at the time, was I was on my way to rescuing her despite my pleas to the local Fire Department who informed me that, “They don’t actually rescue cats.” They suggested I “squirt her down with a hose”. To make a long story even longer, I squirted her down and gravity made the choice for her in her landing area, which turned out to the be the pavement. Rafe teases that I made her a cross-eyed Siamese.

THE DIVA

 

   Through the years, we’ve learned to love Sasha for her “special” ways. She isn’t light-footed, she know’s no personal space, she doesn’t eat human food by choice, and she has a fetish for fleece socks that she totes around at night as though they were her long-lost babies. She’s not entirely sure of anything anymore as she can’t really see that well and, she’s sorta lame. She loves moist cat food and loves sleeping with my daughter Aubry. Sasha doesn’t like to be held by anyone but Aubry. Every night Sasha tucks every one into bed even if it’s not bed time. Sasha has a way of making you love her. She ever so slowly crawls on to you and forms her body around you and before you know it, you’re in a Sasha hug.

Sasha hug #1

 

  

 

 

 

 

Sasha hug #2 Sasha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sasha hug #3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 4/17/2009 Mr.Kat walked into our lives and chose us to be his new

MR.KAT

family. Rafe and I were sitting on the porch swing enjoying the neighborhood and up jumped Mr.Kat right into our laps. He nuzzled our faces with his own, snuggled in between us and fell asleep. What he didn’t realize was, we captured ourselves our very own Crabbit. He looks like a cat, but he feeeeeeels like a rabbit. His fur is so soft you’ll find yourself petting him and not even realize that he’s now completely annoyed with your human scent being all over him.

 

He use to be very affectionate until he realized that we cut his balls off. Ever since, he seems to be trying to find a way to escape (can’t blame him). His facial features speak so loudly to our family. Most day’s he could care less about whatever it is that Sasha is doing. But some how finds his way into whatever room she’s in, to observe her inaction. I know he’s having an inner monologue discussion about “how stupid Sasha is” or “why can’t these humans understand me”. My daughter often think’s that Mr. Kat is a human trapped in a cat’s body.

 

Mr. Kat loves chips, ice cream, cereal, whip cream, and cake. He doesn’t like it when the human put such food item into containers that he can’t get his paws into such as a cake in a plastic container. If the human’s leave such a food item out on the counter he will swiftly push it off with his paw (take thatyou stupid humans). He drinks water with his paws and must supervise you while taking a bath. He is our resident Life Guard. He’s not afraid of water but he must taste the temperature of your bath water while you are marinating in it. He has a way of making your feel utterly stupid for living just by his stare. But don’t let that fool you, he is a very loving cat and an even better foot warmer at the end of our bed every night.

 

SABRINA/NINJA CAT/SPAZ/SKELETOR

Last but not least, we have Sabrina, our newest and youngest kitten. We received Sabrina on 12/28/2011 from my cousin Mike and his family. When Mike’s kids come over to our house, they will take joy in seeing her as they picked her out. We adopted her as our surrogate kitten because, unfortunately Mike didn’t know he was allergic to cats until one night with Sabrina. Though we can’t medically say that it was the “cat” per say, as it might have been her “gassy” nature that he became allergic too. This kitten has a way of warming your heart and peeling your paint at the same time with her farts. She purrs the moment you touch her as though you’ve just sent her into a catatonic orgasm. (FYI: I’ve gone through all of my cat photo’s to include various picture of this here cat named Sabrina but for some reason she can’t stay still long enough to take a picture that won’t result in it being fuzzy or blurred)

"Your not camoflage, I can still see you Sabrina"

 

Every single thing in this house is NOT off-limits to her and if it was, it’s just another obstacle in her life that she will master in a mere hours. She has absolutely no balance and isn’t afraid to fall. She loves stalking Sasha and catching the slow and elderly cats of the house and gnawing on their heads. She has no fear of what lyes beneath the covers and isn’t afraid to pounce on it with her entire body.

She's planning her next move...trust me

 

She thinks’ she has stealth capabilities in her silky black fur, but this ninja cat is a total spaz. She has brought so much fun and youthfulness back to our house hold. I know deep down inside Sasha and Mr. Kat absolutely love having her otherwise they wouldn’t try to bathe the poor thing every time she’s near. Mr.Kat try to play like he doesn’t know what got her riled up but we all know it was him who attacked her first. Sasha loves playing hide-and-go seek with Sabrina (although we are pretty sure Sasha thinks she’s playing with her own shadow as often times Sasha has zero sense of awareness).

The Cat Condo

 

Just a couple of weeks ago, we bought them their very own cat condo. Sabrina has spazed out on this thing since it was laid out in pieces on the floor before I could put it together. Mr.Kat has claimed the throne at the top a few times, but the moment he steps a paw on the blue carpet, he can hear Sabrina’s inner thoughts apparently shouting at him, “GAME ON SUCKA!” and immediately finds the nearest hiding place. We’ve put Sasha on it a few times and the sheer panic (or reminder of being on the phone pole) resonates in her eyes, she finds the nearest exit and goes to her happy place; the recliner to calm down.

 

So there you have it folks, the day and the lives of my cats. I’ve only introduced you to them as way for you to identify them in the event we have a cat-apocolypse. You might need this information to save yourselves.

Love, Mr.Kat, Sasha & Sabrina

 

I’m Insanely Tired….yet I blog

  

Fluffy White Cotton Balls

    Why hello my night-time flash light slash computer monitor. I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, yet I can’t turn my mind off long enough for me to fall asleep. Hormonal? Maybe. Emotional? Sometimes but not lately. I’m just not sure. All I know is, I wake up in the morning, (quit singing the Ke$ha song cause I don’t feel like P-Diddy) with back pain and that wretched feeling of disdain because yet another work day is plotted out in front of me. I come up with a bazillion reason’s why calling-off would be beneficial to everyone I work with, up until I realize that I’m out of Vacation and Sick pay and wouldn’t be getting paid if I call-off, so I must forge ahead and get my lazy tired ass out bed and into something that looks mostly like a work uniform. I should be joyful that I still have a job with the economy going to shit and it being 20-12 and in all aspects, it’s just a job that pays part of my bills.

   I’ve recently realized that I’m getting older, TV show’s are getting skankier, my children will out grow me in a few more months, my kitten won’t be a kitten for very much longer and I want to enjoy her completely even though she drives me crazy at night with her off the wall acrobatics and undercover foot attacks.

   This post sounds a bit depressing but I assure you, it’s not. I’m not. I’m dysfunctionally tired and I don’t know why. I’ve had blood test, urine test, CAT scans, mammograms, pelvic exams, and dental exams; you name it, I’ve had it scanned, poked, prodded, lit-up and put on a slide and all the test come back, “Fine” (is that a legit medical term?).

   I don’t smoke, drink, chew (except chocolate), do drugs, gamble, or any other illicit thing you could do and yet, I can’t find a reason or a cure. So I blog and share my struggles with you.

   So in closing, I shall say good night or good morning depending on what time it is that you are reading this. May the bright light shine on you, except if you are trying to sleep which in that case I’ll just say…..”Shhhhhhhh people sleeping.”